Books & Audiobooks
TW: Discussions of child abuse
In The House of My Mother: A Daughter’s Quest for Freedom, Shari Franke recounts her experience living under the thumb of a tyrannical and often unhinged mother. The Franke family may be familiar to you, but perhaps you are familiar with their YouTube Channel’s name: Eight Passengers. This seemingly normal Mormon household found immense success in the wave of popular family-centered YouTube channels. Off screen, the matriarch of the clan, Ruby Franke, utilized abuse and emotional neglect to control her six children. Little hints of this behaviour can be seen seeping through their very public home videos if you know what you’re looking for, otherwise no one would suspect that this seemingly perfect family was actually living in a nightmare. In The House of My Mother, Shari recounts her life under her mother’s thumb, aware from a painfully early age that she was not treated like a normal little girl.
Ruby’s own upbringing stressed the importance of motherhood, likening it to a holy calling, the highest form a woman could achieve in the Mormon church. She was not afforded the chance to consider if she really wanted to be a mother or if her lack of maternal warmth would negatively affect her children. Instead, Ruby saw motherhood as the greatest accomplishment. Shari, the oldest child of the group, recounts the emotional and physical abuse that she and her siblings experienced growing up. Their father was no help, as he stood idly by letting his wife dictate the children’s upbringing with an iron fist. This abuse was significantly worsened by the entrance of counselor Jodi Hildebrandt, who was hired to work with the children. She and Ruby share similar views on parenting and discipline, choosing to join forces and create content together. Jodi moved into the Franke’s home where she and Ruby became attached at the hip, feeding off of each other’s delusions.
In this memoir, Shari is honest and open about the abuse inflicted by her mother (and the inaction of her father). She is also heartbreakingly honest about her constant desire for maternal love. No matter what Ruby did, Shari wanted to foster a loving relationship with her, showcasing the devotion children have for their parents even when they don’t deserve it. Eventually this childlike innocence gave way to understanding, and this book is perhaps the best revenge she could hope for: Ruby Franke, obsessed with being seen as the best mother with a perfect family, exposed by her eldest child. While Shari is upfront about her own experiences, she is, however, discreet when it comes to her youngest siblings, allowing them to choose if and when they disclose their own abuse.
I expect that The House of My Mother will be the first of many stories of abuse and neglect behind the lens of internet famous childhoods. With few protections for young ‘talent’, even less than traditionally famous kids, ‘mommy bloggers’ have practically no barriers to using their children for fame and fortune. Shari is bravely carving a path for others to follow, and calling into question the nature of internet fame when it comes to minors. It is important work that will hopefully lead to change in the industry and a shift in our understanding of these children. Even if you, like me, had never heard of the Franke family prior to this book, it is still an engaging and thought-provoking story of resilience and strength.