Books & Audiobooks
I first learned about Jaime Raines through his YouTube channel, talking about all things trans. When I learned that he was releasing a book I was incredibly excited! Much like his channel, The T in LGBT: Everything You Need to Know About Being Trans goes over topics that many trans folks need to know about or have learned about. I appreciated his trademark dry wit and sense of humor which punctuated the book with an enjoyable readability.
When reading books like this, I’m often cautious of the “gaze” it has been written for. Even when it’s intending to be written for trans people, it can still be more of a guide for our cisgender friends, family and allies to learn about us. When there’s a book written for trans people, it has more relatability to it. You can tell that trans people are the focus and intended and immediate beneficiaries of its contents.
The topics range from the basics about being trans and transitioning (though some of them are not-so-basic and are incredibly complex), figuring out what transness means to you, aspects of social transitioning like changing your name and pronouns, to taking hormones or deciding to get gender-affirming surgeries. Raines gives equal treatment to non-binary community members and includes a chapter outlining what it means to be non-binary while encouraging non-binary people who are often marginalized within or erased altogether from many mainstream trans narratives.
It’s a generously informative read that I enjoyed returning to for this review, after more of my own transition has unfolded. Speaking from the experience on the “other side” of many facets of my transition, I can say that Raines has given readers an accurate and very practical guide. When I started my own transition, I was able to make informed decisions because of many of his explanations. It helped me bring the best questions to my doctor and know what to expect, which meant I had insights into what to ask about gender affirming care options available to me.
For those reading from a place of allyship, this is a great book to learn about what it means to be trans and to transition. This also gives others a lens into what transgender cognitive load can look like. It isn’t always just that we can be ourselves. There is much more that we carry with us regarding our transition that not many are able or willing to see. For many who are just starting to transition there are stresses that aren’t necessarily visible to others like “passing,” or familial and friendship acceptance, the constant practice of coming out (and how it can be a source of constant invalidation), as well as being outed if someone misgenders you (and the dysphoric anxiety-depression that can be triggered by it). Raines makes the dysphoria, euphoria, fears, and patience required visible to others; Much like the author, I’m still waiting for a full beard to grow but it’s gradually getting there after 3 years on testosterone.
It humanizes the trans journey so that it is not happening to some abstract person but informs readers of what it’s like, so they get to know a trans person in Raines, with which to better understand some parts of the journey for trans people in their lives. He articulates the issues in a way that answers many of the “Trans 101” questions so that allies can meet trans people in a place of empathy and “tell me more” rather than “tell me about.” The former asks trans people about how they are doing for the benefit of the trans person, while the latter asks trans people to be the educator for the benefit of the cisgender person asking. Raines’ equips allies with a wealth of information on the journey. I highly recommend Jamie Raines’ book for trans and non-binary people as well as our allies.